


Disconnection

by Lilac_Motion



Series: Soulmates Gaiden [5]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, M/M, Soulmates prompt, jiraoro, the pain of separation, woobie!Orochimaru
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 19:41:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8298041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilac_Motion/pseuds/Lilac_Motion
Summary: Jiraiya endures and Orochimaru breaks.  (soulmates prompt: physical distance from your soulmate causes discomfort)





	

There is a cold in Orochimaru's chest that won't leave, spreads its chill down to his fingertips.  An ache lives at the base of his head, center of his shoulders, dull but ever present.  Once, Jiraiya would have soothed both ills with his warm, strong hands, and Orochimaru would take it with token protests, all the while leaning into every touch in the darkness of their shared tent.  The pains persist and grows with each passing month, needles of burning ice seem to sink deeper with every breath, a feeling of hollowness reigns his insides and robs him of appetite.  Worry and resentment consumes Orochimaru when he thinks of Jiraiya suffering mirrored pains in hostile territory, and for what?  _Why_ had Jiraiya chosen to stay in Ame?  Jiraiya believes, that "a shinobi is one who endures", had smiled gently at their moment of parting, brushing back rain-wetted black hair from a rain-wetted white face, laughed at the answering glare, then Orochimaru had pulled away to rejoin Tsunade, and Jiraiya stayed, in Ame.

By the time that Tsunade leaves Konoha, fleeing the combined weight of Nawaki's and Dan's deaths – Orochimaru has already forgotten what it felt like to live free of constant pain and discomfort.  Surely if Jiraiya had shared the same pains, he would have returned?  The truth is a bitter poison, but Orochimaru has always needed Jiraiya more than Jiraiya needed him – and of this he knows Jiraiya remains steadfastly ignorant.

In the ruins of Ame, Jiraiya trains his charges, and endures.  It is only when the pain in his heart was suddenly replaced with nothing that Jiraiya would hurry back to Konoha, too late, fearing that Orochimaru had been killed, only to find his soulmate had so _changed_ that their bonds have been severed.  He lurks outside the hall of a council meeting, searching the unforgiving face of the Root operative posted outside for any sign of the slight sly smile he had known since childhood, for a spark of fierceness in the golden eyes staring impassively ahead – joy or irritation, recognition for a returned friend and lover – but there is nothing.  It is like the Orochimaru that Jiraiya had known never existed at all.

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure how I feel about the idea of having a soulmate (so set in stone!), but it would really suck if being apart means actual physical pain and discomfort, like, what if we both get gigs/obligations that really need our personal attention on opposite side of the globe, and instead of several months of love letters and anticipation, it is actual mind-destroying torture? I'll like to think that maybe, someday, I would be in love with someone enough to never want to part from them again, but if it was a situation where I actually COULD NOT be apart from them, it would feel like a prison sentence, no matter how wonderful my beloved, I would feel like chewing off my foot to escape from the trap.


End file.
